Rhonda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” 

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

“Our city has grown to a point where we can no longer allow our streets to be a recreational playground,” Councilman John Reichard said. “There was a time when we could. We didn’t have the traffic. We didn’t have the visitation, and now we do.”

By JOHN HENDERSON

News Herald Reporter

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PANAMA CITY BEACH — Scooter rental business owners are seething after the Panama City Beach Council on Thursday night voted to shutter their businesses in three years.

The council, after hearing Police Chief Drew Whitman say scooter rental law enforcement is taking time away from his limited staff dealing with serious crimes, passed a motion to eliminate the businesses after three years. The vote was 4-1, with councilman Phil Chester dissenting.

A motion to pass an emergency ordinance to ban scooter rental drivers from the road after 5 p.m. drew a 3-2 vote, with Phil Chester and Josie Strange dissenting, but ultimately failed because under state law a supermajority of four votes is required.

Three years ago, former Councilman Rick Russell proposed that scooter rental businesses be phased out over three years, but it went nowhere after the business owners protested. Since then, however, laws have been passed to reduce the number of scooters at each business to 60.

“Our city has grown to a point where we can no longer allow our streets to be a recreational playground,” Councilman John Reichard said. “There was a time when we could. We didn’t have the traffic. We didn’t have the visitation, and now we do.”

Whitman said his department gets complaints from businesses about scooter rentals taking up parking spaces for cars and the drivers making reckless traffic moves such as driving down the sidewalk at night and weaving in and out of traffic.

“It’s a miracle that none of those kids have been killed,” Reichard said. He then made the motion to eliminate the businesses in three years.

Mayor Mike Thomas said scooters are not just a problem in the evenings, “and it keeps (Whitman) from investigating and being proactive on other things.”

City Attorney Amy Myers said Friday an ordinance will have to be brought back and approved by the council twice to cement the decision. She said the wording may not call for phasing out the scooters, just eliminating them after a certain number of years.

Myers said the city should not have to pay business damages to scooter rental businesses that have been able to recoup their investment on the scooters. But she added that if the timeline is unreasonable for a particular business to recoup that investment and the business establishes proof it is indeed suffering a loss, the city might be liable for some compensation. Myers said an economic consultant would have to be hired to determine the economic effect of closing the businesses.

“We hired an economist that was part of the last lawsuit, so a lot of legwork has been done,” she said.

Colleen Swab, owner of California Cycles that has been in business for 32 years, said Friday her business planned to sue the city once again over its decision. The company won a previous lawsuit against the city when an appeals judge in Tallahassee ruled the city’s insurance and vests laws went too far, that those requirements should be determined by the state instead.

Rick Roof, another owner of the company, said the laws the city have passed have cost his business dearly, and he is tired of it. Roof said scooter rental businesses have been used as a “scapegoat” for crime problems, and that Thomas has a vendetta against his company that goes back decades.

“We have lost a lot of money,” he said.

New building boom on the Beach

“One reason I think that everyone is coming out here is it is just a nice place to live, the county part and the city, the whole island,” Panama City Beach Mayor Mike Thomas said. “I don’t think you can drive through a neighborhood that there is not some form of construction going on.”

By JOHN HENDERSON

News Herald Reporter

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PANAMA CITY BEACH — All forms of new construction are taking off in Panama City Beach, according to the latest figures.

Dozens of new apartment complexes, residential subdivisions, the first major Gulf-front tower to be approved since 2008, three new hotels and new commercial businesses are in the approval process, have been approved or are under construction throughout the city.

Additionally, the dollar amount developers paid to pull building permits on the Beach — a clear indicator of building activity — has more than quadrupled in the past seven years, from $139,908 in fiscal year 2009-2010 to $648,573 in fiscal year 2015-2016. This fiscal year is on pace to match or surpass last year’s with a four-month total of $184,321.

“One reason I think that everyone is coming out here is it is just a nice place to live, the county part and the city, the whole island,” Panama City Beach Mayor Mike Thomas said. “I don’t think you can drive through a neighborhood that there is not some form of construction going on.”

The value of new construction — including residential subdivisions, apartments and commercial buildings — also has increased in recent years, figures show. In fiscal year 2015-2016, the total amount of new building valuation in Panama City Beach added up to $85.9 million, compared to $81.3 million in fiscal year 2014-2015 and $76.2 million in fiscal year 2012-2013. The number has increased every year since 2009-2010, when total construction valuations were at $15.9 million.

Thomas said vacant lots are being bought up on Thomas Drive and the west end of the beach.

“It’s pretty uniform all over the Beach,” he said.

Joel Jadofsky, a Realtor with Keller Williams Success Realty who sells real estate on the Beach, said the single-family homes market is thriving.

“Single-family homes out there are going crazy right now,” he said. “As soon as I get them, they sell. Investors are buying them for second homes. I got one (customer) from Georgia who is looking and we can’t find her one in her price range that is available.”

However, he said, his condominium sales are off considerably during the past year or so, at least with his business.

“I think people are still afraid of the economy,” he said. “People with disposable income to buy the investment properties, they are not spending it yet. They are still scared of what is going on.”

The increase in new construction also is evident in the unincorporated area of the Beach. In 2010, Bay County permitted 33 new residences in the unincorporated area of the Beach. Six years later, the county permitted 203. And for the first three months of this year, 55 residences have been permitted.

“It’s on the upward tick for the construction,” said Bay County building official Larry Carnley. “It’s continuing to be on upward tick. It has been since 2014.”

Residential numbers also are up countywide, Carnley said, pointing out there were 105 permits for build single-family residences in all of Bay County for the first three months of the year.

From apartments to retail

New residential subdivisions, apartment complexes and commercial businesses have been approved to be built all over the island.

Land clearing is well underway on Back Beach Road by the CVS Pharmacy for two major projects.

American First Multifamily Investors out of Omaha is building a 288-unit apartment complex on about 20 acres. To the west of that, DR Horton, a home building company, has permits ready to be issued to build 162 townhouses, said Martin Jacobson, Bay County’s director of community development.

Commercial construction also is picking up in the unincorporated and incorporated areas of the Beach. On the unincorporated side, along Thomas Drive, businesses Diego’s Burrito Factory, a new Coastal Care clinic and dry boat storage business are being built.

Commercial activity also is heating up inside the city limits, with three new hotels under development. Under construction are a 182-room Hampton Inn & Suites at 15505 Front Beach Road and a 157-room Holiday Inn Express at 12907 Front Beach Road. Plans have been submitted to the city to build a 260-room SpringHill Suites by Marriott at 12513 Front Beach Road by the County Pier.

“I know there is talk of another one coming in, but I don’t have any details about it,” said Panama City building official Ken Thorndyke.

Plans are being reviewed for a new Krispy Kreme Donut shop by the Dunkin Donuts on Back Beach Road, and a new Starbucks coffee shop is being built in front of the Wal-Mart store on Back Beach Road.

Thomas said the building spree is indicative of the positive direction the city is moving in. He said he thought it would take three years for the Beach to recover from the drop in Spring Break business, but the recovery has been quicker. He said business at his cafe has come back in a year.

“That is pretty significant to me,” he said. “February (business) was the same way, up significantly over last year. I think the Beach is where things are happening now, not just residential but commercial, too.”

Robert Carroll, an engineer with McNeil Carroll Engineering Inc. that works on many Beach projects, said he definitely has seen an uptick in building on the Beach in recent years.

“The trend keeps going up,” said Carroll, who also is a county commissioner. “As far as the engineering side, I don’t think there is a firm that is not busy. Everybody has plenty of work.”

Here is a sample of some projects currently underway:

RESIDENTIAL

• 40 new homes for the new community Whisper Dunes, a Beazer Homes community, on the north side of Back Beach Road at the intersection of Sand Oak Boulevard.

• 27 multifamily units in the Waterfall development on Alf Coleman Road across the street from Arnold High School; several more homes were permitted in 2017.

• A 250-unit, 20-story beachfront Calypso 3 Tower, the first high-rise approved by the city since 2008.

• An 85-lot new subdivision called Moonraker, a proposed single-family development at the northeast corner of Alf Coleman Road and Middle Beach Road.

• 21 single-family homes for a subdivision called Chaudry Residential on Innocente Avenue just east of State 79.

• 11 single-family homes on Sands Street on the north side of Front Beach Road.

• 21-unit complex across the street from City Hall on State 79.

APARTMENTS

• The 288-unit Parkside complex, slated to be built a block west of City Hall on Back beach Road, will include a clubhouse and pool.

• The 78-unit Pelican Pointe, a two-building, three-story apartment complex developed by Royal American Co., will offer workforce housing at 10320 Clarence Road.

• 360 apartments are being developed by the St. Joe Co. at the northwest corner of Pier Park North Drive and U.S. 98, adjacent to the east side of Frank Brown Park.

My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful.

“You know,” he said to our grandson, “it’s not easy getting old. I guess I’m in the fourth quarter now.”

“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” Our grandson said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll go into overtime.”

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. 

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said one, "but we don't have a ladder." 

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. 

One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length."

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model on her refrigerator to remind her of her goal.

The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.

The downside to this was that her husband ended up gaining fifteen pounds.