Mom: Son, you’re good in math. Now I’m going to ask you a question.
Son: Okay, mom.
Mom: Your dad gives you 3 apples. Then I give you 4 apples. What’s your answer?
Son: Thank you very much?!?!?
Mom: Son, you’re good in math. Now I’m going to ask you a question.
Son: Okay, mom.
Mom: Your dad gives you 3 apples. Then I give you 4 apples. What’s your answer?
Son: Thank you very much?!?!?
Too Much Information
Technology Jokes
"Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?"
"No sir, it's Google's Pizza."
"Did I dial the wrong number?
"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."
"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."
"Okay sir, do you want the usual …
Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"
Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."
Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about …
Sheriff Doesn't Want Marriage
The Sheriff's girl friend constantly asked the Sheriff to get married.
Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the bank robbers.
Girl: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't. I have to go catch the …
A father and his 9 year old son were at the nearby bowling alley.
"Hey dad, why is that man wearing that weird looking hat while he's bowling?" his son blurted out.
"Oh that's normal son" he answered. "That hat is called a …
A woman had been selling waterbeds for almost four years, and thought she had heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked, "Can you deliver it filled with water?"
Stunned, the woman replied, "Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!"
After a …
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mothers."
I opened the fridge. The light came on, the beer was cold.
I can't figure out what she …
A young hiker is traveling thru a heavily wooded area and comes upon a Monastery full of friars and monks. He knocks on the door for directions, however is invited inside for "Fish and Chips" for lunch.
After lunch he exclaimed that this …
Little Emily was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?"
Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one."
Perhaps one of greatest milestones in my 37 year Law Enforcement career came on December 6, 1973 when I graduated from the FBI National Academy in Quantico, VA and received the J Edgar Hoover Award for Scholastic Excellence.
I had the honor of meeting Clarence Kelley the Director of …
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