Your Mother Insulted Me 
Marriage Jokes
 

The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."

"My mother!" he exclaimed. "Did she call you?"

"No, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."

He looked stern, "I see, and where does the insult come in?"

"In the P.S.," she answered. "It said, 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"

Bless Your Little Heart 
Family Jokes
Submitted by Baum

The teacher asks Suzy where her nose is, and Suzy points to it. Next, she asks Freddy where his ears are, and he points to them. Then she asked little johnny where his heart is, johnny points to his behind, 

The teacher said, "No, that is not right. Let's try again. Where is your heart?"

Again, Johnny points to his behind and explains, "Every time my grandma comes over she give me a hug, pats my behind, and says 'Bless your little heart.'"

The Tip of The Day from
WisdomTips.com 

The 3 Principles of Art

Knowledge + Understanding = Wisdom
Wisdom + Understanding = Knowledge
Knowledge + Wisdom = Understanding

Knowlege + Understanding + Wisdom = Life

Name of That Restaurant 
Elderly Jokes

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly. 

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" 

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." 

"Do you mean a rose?" 

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

I'm Not From This Area
Doctor Jokes
Submitted by moeketsi

Two idiots were standing looking at the sun. They were arguing. One said it was the sun while the other one said it was the moon.

A third guy happened to walk by. They asked him, "What is that in the sky?"

The man simply replied, "Sorry, I can't help you. I'm not from this area."

The Tip of The Day from
WisdomTips.com 

Heart Break

"Don't cry because it’s over, smile because it happened..."

Compact On the Sidewalk 
Misc Jokes
Submitted by HENNE

Carol and Patty were walking down the street. Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the compact. 

Patty looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!"

Left Turn Indicator
Elderly Jokes On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tiplight. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."

The Tip of The Day from
WisdomTips.com 

Inner Joy

"I realized today, that I have been thinking that certain people, certain places, and certain kinds of activities create my joy. I had failed to see myself as the only constant in the equation. My joy comes from ME, and it is with me always."

What's for Dinner? 
Marriage Jokes
 

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen: "Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, darling. I think I'll have chicken."

She replied, "You're havin' a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin' to the dog!"