If your blood pressure is rising try meditation. A recent study shows that meditation can be a helpful complement to treatment for people with stress-induced high blood pressure.

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.

"It's designed to adjust the child to live in today's world, ma'am," the shop assistant replied. "So basically, any way he tries to put it together is wrong."

"Doctor, I think I'm a moth."

"It's not a doctor you need, it's a psychiatrist."

"I was on my way there when I saw your light on."

Doing your best at what you like doing the most isn’t work, it’s the pinnacle of existence.

A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. 

"Doc, there's something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby's high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe. Can you tell me what the problem is?"

"Sure," the doctor said. "You have way too much time on your hands."

I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.

“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.

“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”

"Courage isn't the strength to go on, it is going on when you don't have the strength."

- Napoleon Bonaparte -

One day at a local clinic, the doctor is outraged to see that he has no patients to examine. So he called his assistant to ask what happened. 

His assistant replied, "I asked the patients if they are feeling okay, and they said 'no', so I told them to go home and get plenty of rest!"

Google is so useless...

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was about 15,000 matches.

Possessing charity with out action is like possessing a light bulb without electricity.