My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. "I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT's, and make more money than you," she pointed out.
"Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead," I said.
She looked mystified …
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been friends all of their lives.
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness …
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window …
The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.
"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."
"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"
Little Mikey and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Mikey received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Mikey! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.
"I don …
Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"
"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I …
An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone had shown interest in his paintings. "I've got good news and bad news," she said. "The good news is that some guy inquired if it would appreciate in value after you died. When I told him it would, he bought all …
View MoreTwo Aggies were hunting and had shot a dear. They were dragging it by the hind legs when
another Aggie passed them and commented: You can go faster if you drag him by the antlers.
So the Aggies started dragging him by the antlers. Then one Aggie said …
An old man lived alone. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very
hard work and his only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for
bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his
predicament.
Shortly, he received this …