https://youtu.be/MotyHcydrlM

July 27, 2018

Dazed & Confused

(1)  

Beachside Fellowship News
July 26, 2018
Sept
This Week at Beachside!
box_top.gif

 

 

 

we win

 

 

Dear Beachside Family and Friends,

 

 

 

In January of 1969 the acid rock/psychedelic rock/heavy metal band Led Zeppelin released a song entitled "Dazed and Confused." One of several successful songs on their self-named debut album, "Dazed and Confused" not only reflected the thoughts of the author and performers, but also was a commentary on the state of society in the late 60's, at least among young "progressives".

 

 

 

Almost fifty years later it can easily be observed that our culture has not improved from "dazed and confused". If anything, society seems more confused and detached from reality than five decades ago.  Children are wantonly slain in the womb for the convenience of their mothers, individuals mutilate their God-created bodies in a fruitless attempt to change their sex, and some pastors teach that the contents of the Bible are not moral absolutes, but guidelines, as if the scripture was an evolved "pirate code". Arrgh!

 

 

 

Confusion is never the work of God. 1 Corinthians 14:33 tells us "For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.." He is a protector of life, not the purveyor of death, as Jesus revealed in John 10:10, declaring that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy: I am come that they may have life and more abundant life". God is never confused. He did not inspire advances in medicines and medical technology for the purpose of ending the lives of innocent children. He did not give talent and highly developed skills to surgeons for the purpose of attempting to change what He created. 

 

 

 

How is it that we accept these things and call them progress? Progress should be defined as forward momentum, not a decent into confusion and destruction. Progress should embody the advancement of life, the life through which God blesses mankind and delivers us from our own folly. Is it not sensible to believe that children are conceived to live and not die, and that God's natural order of sexuality is established at the moment of conception? He never makes a mistake, and only those blinded to the truth could embrace the confusion so readlly accepted by many who say they know and love Him. 

 

 

 

Paul wrote "But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. (2 Corinthians 4:3-4) The God of this age is none other than the deceiver Lucifer, who believed that he could dethrone God. We know him as Satan, and his blindness has infected humanity, whom he deceives into believing that they themselves are God, free to reject Divine plan and purpose without consequence. 

 

 

 

Satan was so dazed and confused that he had Jesus murdered, crucified by clueless Roman authorities. He believed that he had dealt with his "Jesus problem" permanently. In his pride and confusion, he made the second greatest mistake in his existence. The Word reveals "But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. (1 Corinthians 2:7-8) in Satan's arrogance he killed Jesus, facilitating the resurrection of the Lord of Glory and establishing His Church, and "the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." (Matthew 16:18)

 

 

 

Since Satan and his confusion cannot prevail against both-again believers in Jesus, we can remain at peace in the midst of the cultural storm. We should exercise our faith, take authority over the devil, and speak words of truth and life into the storm of confusion that besets our society and nation. Peace will prevail, and sense will return if we stand for life and the truth of God's Word. We need never be  "dazed and confused". We can be confident in our future as believers. By the way, I've read the back of the Book, and WE WIN!

 

 

 

Pastor Ramon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Made Simple

tithe 2
Occasionally we have people who wish to give to this ministry who are not able to attend our services.  To make it easier for people to do so we now can accept tithes and offerings via your debit card.  Simply click the link at the bottom of this message and you will be taken to a safe and secure Paypal link that will assist you.  Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU for your generous support!
***************************************************
Friday July 27 at 7:00pm
prayer

 

webcast

Our live webcast is now available on the Beachside Fellowship Facebook page and at Beachsidefellowship.com.  You can either watch live (if you are not able to be in service with us) or watch the latest episode when we are not streaming live.  Click on the picture and it will take you right to the page on our website.
box_bottom.gif
 
Church Calendar
calendar2 6
Join us every Sunday morning at 9:30 AM for...
CorporatePrayer 2
childrens-church 3
Beachside Children's Church
“Ordinary kids doing Extraordinary things!"
Sundays 10:30 AM
Wednesdays - 6:30 PM
transformed time 4
Youth Ministry
Wednesdays 6:30 PM
WOW logo 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday Aug. 14th
Pool Party at Suzanne's house
6:00 pm
Hamburgers and Hotdogs is our food theme
nightofprayerworship 3
Prayer and Worship Service
July 27th 7:00pm

 

Beachside Fellowship is a family of believers who embrace the Love of God and the Good News that we can live happy and fulfilled lives through a connection with Him. Growing together in our understanding of God, we teach what the Bible says about life, and are committed to a personal relationship with the Living Word, Jesus Christ. 
Our church is made up of people from many different denominational backgrounds, and we welcome all who have a desire to learn more about God and His Word. Beachside Fellowships' contemporary "come as you are" services are filled with the warmth of the Spirit, exciting worship music,  and the life changing Power of God. You CAN have the life you always wanted: join us at Beachside Fellowship, where'It's All About the Word!"

 

Tel: 850-960-6026
July 19, 2018

My Bond

Beachside Fellowship News
July 19, 2018
Sept
This Week at Beachside!
box_top.gif

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Beachside Family and Friends:

There was a time in our homes, businesses, churches, and society at large when people declared that their word was their bond, Honesty and integrity were the norm, not character traits exhibited by only a few. Contracts were concluded with a handshake, not with reams of fine print that serve to manipulate and provide hidden methods of escape from the very things stated in them, 

 

In time past, attorneys were most often engaged in  government, corporate, and real estate law. They also provided criminal defense and civil services to those who needed them. The divorce rate was so low that practicing family law alone was not profitable. Today it seems that the majority of lawyers are engaged either in representing those who are filing lawsuits or defending those who are being sued, writing ironclad contracts, or finding ways to shatter the supposed ironclad words of others. The era of "my word is my bond" has been relegated to the ash heap of history. 

 

Integrity and honesty were were under assault from the religious and political leaders of Jesus' day. When challenged by the religious authorities, He made a compelling observation. "For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me!" (John 8:44-45)

 

It is not natural for those who have been born again to lie. Although those in the world are of their father the devil and often lie without hesitation, believers should not live this way. We are disciples of Jesus Christ, and children of the  Most High God. We are living hosts to the Spirit of God, of whom Jesus spoke in John 16:13 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth..." The truth resides in us, and we should always represent the Father well by speaking the truth. Our word should still be our bond, as stated in Psalm 15:1-4 "Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?...Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the Lord, and keep their promises even when it hurts."

 

Our society needs men and women of integrity and honesty in order to survive the challenging times in which we live. The "credibility gap" (a term describing the space between rhetoric and the truth in politics) has widened to Grand Canyon proportions. I am amazed at how some of our current leaders and candidates for office lie to the public and continue to lie even when directly confronted with the truth. It is inconceivable that most of the news media cover up for the liars and hide the truth, yet they do so on a daily basis. Although shocked by the deeds of these dissemblers, I am not surprised. They lie as a matter of course for this reason: the truth is not in them. To reprise John 8:44 "For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him."

 

While we understand the source of the lies and cover-ups, we should never find them acceptable . Satan's children will always lie, often without conviction. The world has a term for those who tell untruths without remorse. They call it pathological. We know it to be demoniacal.  Anyone call tell a lie, repent, receive forgiveness from God and stop lying. They are then not identified as liars. Those who continue to lie place their eternity in jeopardy , for the Bible tells us "But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” (Rev 21:8)

 

How do we deal with those who lie and cover up the truth? Do we allow them to continue unchallenged, or should we confront them? God expects all believers to " not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ," (Eph 4:14-15) We must expose falsehood by speaking the truth, and not allow ourselves to be deceived. It is unacceptable for us to lie to each other, and we should hold public officials, candidates, and the news media to the same standard. They should stop the lies and acknowledge the truth. Many will not, but perhaps some will. Let us pray for a return to integrity and honesty among our leaders and our people. Let us pray for revival in our land. Let us support the truth, and let our light shine! "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." (John 1:5)

 

 

Pastor Ramon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Made Simple

tithe 2
Occasionally we have people who wish to give to this ministry who are not able to attend our services.  To make it easier for people to do so we now can accept tithes and offerings via your debit card.  Simply click the link at the bottom of this message and you will be taken to a safe and secure Paypal link that will assist you.  Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU for your generous support!
***************************************************
pizza 2
Beachside Pizza Party at Domino's in Lynn Haven
Sunday July 22nd immediately following the morning service
Med. pizza and drink for $8.00.
You can create your own pizza or order one.
We will see who make the best looking pizza!

 

webcast

Our live webcast is now available on the Beachside Fellowship Facebook page and at Beachsidefellowship.com.  You can either watch live (if you are not able to be in service with us) or watch the latest episode when we are not streaming live.  Click on the picture and it will take you right to the page on our website.
box_bottom.gif
 
Church Calendar
calendar2 6
Join us every Sunday morning at 9:30 AM for...
CorporatePrayer 2
childrens-church 3
Beachside Children's Church
“Ordinary kids doing Extraordinary things!"
Sundays 10:30 AM
Wednesdays - 6:30 PM
transformed time 4
Youth Ministry
Wednesdays 6:30 PM
WOW logo 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday Aug. 14th
Pool Party at Suzanne's house
6:00 pm
Hamburgers and Hotdogs is our food theme
nightofprayerworship 3
Prayer and Worship Service
July 27th 7:00pm

 

Beachside Fellowship is a family of believers who embrace the Love of God and the Good News that we can live happy and fulfilled lives through a connection with Him. Growing together in our understanding of God, we teach what the Bible says about life, and are committed to a personal relationship with the Living Word, Jesus Christ. 
Our church is made up of people from many different denominational backgrounds, and we welcome all who have a desire to learn more about God and His Word. Beachside Fellowships' contemporary "come as you are" services are filled with the warmth of the Spirit, exciting worship music,  and the life changing Power of God. You CAN have the life you always wanted: join us at Beachside Fellowship, where'It's All About the Word!"

 

Tel: 850-960-6026

 

July 17, 2018

Florida's Economy

Fla. GDP hits $1 trillion mark

 

ORLANDO, Fla. – July 16, 2018 – Florida's gross domestic product topped $1 trillion Friday, an economic output that would make the Sunshine State the world's 17th largest economy if it were an independent country, the state chamber said.

The milestone has been expected. University of Central Florida economic analyst Sean Snaith said the state has been strong in all areas of employment.

"This is really being driven by fundamentals," he said. "This is not just a fluke of an overheated economy."

Florida's economy has grown larger than Saudi Arabia's, Switzerland's and Argentina's, the chamber said.

The economist who authored the study pointed to growth in manufacturing. "Those [jobs] are growing faster here than the U.S. the last few years, " said Jerry Parrish, Florida Chamber Foundation chief economist.

The $1 trillion figure was calculated based on the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis' most recent GDP number of $984 million for the fourth quarter of 2017, and a formula that projects current statistics that have yet to be factored in by the bureau, including job growth, goods, services and other factors.

Key factors driving the state's growth that can be seen in Metro Orlando's economy include low unemployment, population growth and tourism. The broad successes in those areas make the $1 trillion figure sustainable, Snaith said.

"The near-term risk of recession is still fairly low," Snaith said. "… Momentum in the labor market, the tax cuts and jobs act, all that has been a force of adrenalin, if you will, for economic growth. Could we drop below that? It's possible, but that would be temporary. This is a mile marker on a longer-run trend as opposed to being fleeting or cyclical."

Florida has been adding $2.7 billion to its GDP each day on average, the Chamber said in its release.

At the start of 2008, the state's GDP stood at $757 billion adjusted for inflation, according to BEA. It dropped to $715 billion by the third quarter of 2009 but has since risen steadily. The $1 trillion projection would represent a 39.86 percent increase.

The Chamber cited unemployment lower than the national average and other factors driving the growth.

"… Florida continues to break visitation records, and our state is continuing to diversify its economy," its release said.

© 2018 The Orlando Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.), Bill Zimmerman. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

 

 

July 5, 2018

Stand Upon The Word

Beachside Fellowship News
July 5, 2018
Sept
This Week at Beachside!
box_top.gif

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Dear Beachside Family and Friends,

 

 

 

According to recent Barna Group research, 57% of American adults believe that knowing what is morally right or wrong is a matter of personal experience and interpretation. Among this group, 74% of millennials agree that "whatever is right for your life or works best for you is the only truth you can know." These findings indicate  that a majority of adult Americans, and three quarters of young adults, believe that morality is a matter of personal interpretation, and not subject to any absolutes. 

 

 

 

The  midterm elections ahead provides a background that highlights the significance of this research. It appears that a substantial number of our citizens are willing to support candidates who lie without fear of correction or reprisal. If lying for political gain is acceptable, where do we draw the line between  right and wrong in other matters of culture? If we elect and support leaders who purposefully deceive us, we certainly have no basis to complain when they continue to lie. Is this truly the conviction of the majority of our citizens, that we can construct our own morality apart from our responsibility to others?

 

 

 

My observation of Christians and non-Christians, liberals and conservatives, men and women alike is this: No one really likes to be lied to, especially in the context of relationships. We do not want someone to tell us they love us, and sleep with someone else. It's a lie! We don't want insurance companies to tell us our losses are covered, and then refuse to pay up. It's a lie! We don't want to buy a product that has a guarantee that we later discover is worthless. It's a lie! The amazing thing is this: we don't like to be lied to personally, but it's acceptable if politicians lie to citizens locally and nationwide. Are we so intent on personal gain that we end up lying to ourselves?

 

 

 

If there are no moral absolutes, and we develop our own morality, then we have become the center of our own universe, our own god. This Self-ism is a religion that enables us to accept the falsehoods of those running for and holding political office because we believe that we personally benefit from electing them. It's appropriate for them to deceive as long as we get what we want. This thinking can only result in being deceived and deceiving ourselves. If they lied to others they WILL lie to us! Liars lie, it's what they do, and when they do it long enough they begin to believe their own lies, to the detriment of everyone. 

 

 

 

Solomon, the most powerful political figure of his day made this statement. "Some people think they are doing right, but in the end it leads to death." (Pro 14:12) Unfortunately, he did not take his own advice. He became self-absorbed and created his own morality, forsaking the law of God and lying to himself. "For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God" (1 Kings 11:4) In spite of all of his riches and wisdom, he died declaring that life was worthless and vain. His son Rehoboam followed in his footsteps, and lost the rulership of Israel, except the tribes of Judah and Benjamin. 

 

 

 

The ways of death will be manifest in those who choose to live lives of deception and immorality. Not because God desires this result, but because becoming one's own god removes the influence of the true God from human lives. Left to themselves, with no moral absolutes, men invite death and destruction into their lives and the culture in which they live. The United States stands on the knife edge between a descent into unfettered immorality and Self-ism, or an ascent to reclaim the summit of Biblical morality. There is still hope, as the same Barna Group survey reveals that "a majority also agrees that the Bible provides us with absolute moral truths which are the same for all people in all situations, without exception.” The seeds of revival are found in the Word of God. Those who say they are believers must now choose to stand upon the Word without fear or equivocation. As always, it's all about the Word. The future of our nation depends on it!

 

 

 

Pastor Ramon

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Made Simple

tithe 2
Occasionally we have people who wish to give to this ministry who are not able to attend our services.  To make it easier for people to do so we now can accept tithes and offerings via your debit card.  Simply click the link at the bottom of this message and you will be taken to a safe and secure Paypal link that will assist you.  Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU for your generous support!
***************************************************

 

Brother Reggie Garmany will be ministering on Wednesday, July 11th, prior to his departure for Kenneth Copeland Bible School.  An ice cream social in Reggie's honor immediately follows the service.  Cards, prayers, and encouragement are welcomed.
icecream 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday July 10th at 6:00pm
Barbeque is our theme for food!
Bring your game face and enjoy in all the fun!
Ladies-Game-Night 2
webcast

Our live webcast is now available on the Beachside Fellowship Facebook page and at Beachsidefellowship.com.  You can either watch live (if you are not able to be in service with us) or watch the latest episode when we are not streaming live.  Click on the picture and it will take you right to the page on our website.
box_bottom.gif
 
Church Calendar
calendar2 6
Join us every Sunday morning at 9:30 AM for...
CorporatePrayer 2
childrens-church 3
Beachside Children's Church
“Ordinary kids doing Extraordinary things!"
Sundays 10:30 AM
Wednesdays - 6:30 PM
transformed time 4
Youth Ministry
Wednesdays 6:30 PM
WOW logo 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday July 10th
Game night
Barbeque is our theme
6:00 pm
nightofprayerworship 3
Prayer and Worship Service
July 27th 7:00pm

 

Beachside Fellowship is a family of believers who embrace the Love of God and the Good News that we can live happy and fulfilled lives through a connection with Him. Growing together in our understanding of God, we teach what the Bible says about life, and are committed to a personal relationship with the Living Word, Jesus Christ. 
Our church is made up of people from many different denominational backgrounds, and we welcome all who have a desire to learn more about God and His Word. Beachside Fellowships' contemporary "come as you are" services are filled with the warmth of the Spirit, exciting worship music,  and the life changing Power of God. You CAN have the life you always wanted: join us at Beachside Fellowship, where'It's All About the Word!"

 

Tel: 850-960-6026
June 28, 2018

God Speaks Bible

Beachside Fellowship News
June 28, 2018
Sept
This Week at Beachside!
box_top.gif

 

 

 

 

Dear Beachside Family and Friends,

 

In an ancient kingdom in the land of Shinar, the precursor of Babylon, the people had a plan. They would build a great monument, a great tower that would reach up into heaven. Their ability and wealth was substantial. They fully expected to fulfill their marvelous vision. Nothing could stop them from accomplishing what their imagination had conceived.

 

The people's power to achieve their goal was even recognized by God. "But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. (Genesis 11:5-6) God's statement reveals two important principles necessary for any group of people to achieve great things. The first is common purpose, and the second is common language. 

 

If a nation is to achieve great things, there must be agreement among its' citizens and they must speak the same language. They must have common culture and communicate clearly with each other. The United States was founded by those who spoke English and embraced a common culture of Judeo-Christian values. These two factors of common culture and language enabled our nation to accomplish truly great things and become the most powerful, successful, and free country that has ever existed. Many have come to our shores since our founding, accepting our values  and language. In recent times, others have come with no desire to embrace our unique American culture or to learn to speak English. If we are to continue to succeed as a nation, our entire population, including those who come from other countries seeking a better life, must embrace American  culture and the English language.

 

The same is true for the church. The kingdom of God is unified and advanced by common culture and common language. God only speaks one language. He speaks it in every human and heavenly tongue, but He speaks just one language. God speaks Bible! If the church is to accomplish the plans and purposes of God, we must also speak His language. If those of us in the Body of Christ desire individually rewarding relationships with our Father,  we should speak with Him in our common language. If we want to accomplish His will personally and collectively,  we cannot live and speak contrary to His Word. The Bible is His language and should be ours. 

 

Our nation needs a thriving and influential Church. Christians who hold common culture and language with God can restore the United States of America to her place of leadership and prosperity among the nations of the world. Paul encouraged us "But I urge you, believers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in full agreement in what you say, and that there be no divisions or factions among you, but that you be perfectly united in your way of thinking and in your judgment [about matters of the faith.) (1 Cor 1:10)

 

If we choose to unite around what God says and speak His Word as our first language, nothing will be impossible for us. As Jesus said in Mark 11:23 "23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them." Jesus spoke (and is still speaking) God's language. He encourages us to do the same. Common culture and common language are powerful things. God's culture and His language have unlimited power to transform the Church, our Nation, and our lives. Let us say what God says about all things, and watch His Word change poverty to prosperity, sickness to health, and death to life!

 

 

Pastor Ramon

 

 

 

Giving Made Simple

tithe 2
Occasionally we have people who wish to give to this ministry who are not able to attend our services.  To make it easier for people to do so we now can accept tithes and offerings via your debit card.  Simply click the link at the bottom of this message and you will be taken to a safe and secure Paypal link that will assist you.  Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU for your generous support!
***************************************************

 

Brother Reggie Garmany will be ministering on Wednesday, July 11th, prior to his departure for Kenneth Copeland Bible School.  An ice cream social in Reggie's honor immediately follows the service.  Cards, prayers, and encouragement are welcomed.
icecream 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday July 10th at 6:00pm
Barbeque is our theme for food!
Bring your game face and enjoy in all the fun!
Ladies-Game-Night 2
webcast

Our live webcast is now available on the Beachside Fellowship Facebook page and at Beachsidefellowship.com.  You can either watch live (if you are not able to be in service with us) or watch the latest episode when we are not streaming live.  Click on the picture and it will take you right to the page on our website.
box_bottom.gif
 
Church Calendar
calendar2 6
Join us every Sunday morning at 9:30 AM for...
CorporatePrayer 2
childrens-church 3
Beachside Children's Church
“Ordinary kids doing Extraordinary things!"
Sundays 10:30 AM
Wednesdays - 6:30 PM
transformed time 4
Youth Ministry
Wednesdays 6:30 PM
WOW logo 2
Women of the Word
Tuesday July 10th
Game night
Barbeque is our theme
6:00 pm
nightofprayerworship 3
Prayer and Worship Service
July 27th 7:00pm

 

Beachside Fellowship is a family of believers who embrace the Love of God and the Good News that we can live happy and fulfilled lives through a connection with Him. Growing together in our understanding of God, we teach what the Bible says about life, and are committed to a personal relationship with the Living Word, Jesus Christ. 
Our church is made up of people from many different denominational backgrounds, and we welcome all who have a desire to learn more about God and His Word. Beachside Fellowships' contemporary "come as you are" services are filled with the warmth of the Spirit, exciting worship music,  and the life changing Power of God. You CAN have the life you always wanted: join us at Beachside Fellowship, where'It's All About the Word!"

 

Tel: 850-960-6026
June 23, 2018

And don't come back

After six long years, Bubba Smith

graduates from Georgia Tech with a

degree in Textile Engineering. He soon

finds a CEO position in a textile plant in

Lindale, GA near his home town of

Booger Hollow.

Bubba takes over at a struggling

company and decides to get rid of all

the slackers. He knew many of the

employees and wanted to make a

good impression.

On a tour of the facilities,

Bubba notices a guy leaning

on a wall. He can't believe

this guy would just stand

around on the job.

Bubba walks up to the guy

leaning against the wall and

asks, "What are you doing

here?"

"I'm just waiting to get paid,"

responds the man.

Furious, Bubba asks "How

much money do you make a

week?"

A little surprised, the young

fellow replies, "I make about

$300 a week. Why?"

Bubba quickly has the

Comptroller write a check

and Bubba, hands the guy a

check made out to cash for

$1,200 and says, "Here's

four weeks' pay, now get out

and don't come back."

The man puts the check in

his pocket and promptly

walks out.

Feeling pretty good about

himself, Bubba looks around

the room and asks, "Does

anyone want to tell me what

just happened here?"

From across the room

comes a voice, "Yeah, you

just tipped the pizza delivery

 

guy $1,200."

Posted in JOKES
June 23, 2018

Who wants him back

A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." 

The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

Posted in JOKES
June 23, 2018

Problems

"If a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry about it. If a problem can't be solved, there is no use to worry about it."

- Shantideva -

Posted in JOKES
June 23, 2018

Finding inner beauty

Preparing for a yard sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. 

Shortly after the sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly. "It still has the plastic on it."

Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.

Posted in JOKES
June 23, 2018

Confused Conversation

I was checking out at the busy super market, and the cashier was having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins. When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22.

Trying to soothe her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure."

Still frazzled, she glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

Posted in JOKES