"Courage isn't the strength to go on, it is going on when you don't have the strength."
- Napoleon Bonaparte -
"Courage isn't the strength to go on, it is going on when you don't have the strength."
- Napoleon Bonaparte -
One day at a local clinic, the doctor is outraged to see that he has no patients to examine. So he called his assistant to ask what happened.
His assistant replied, "I asked the patients if they are feeling okay, and they said 'no', so I told them to …
Google is so useless...
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was about 15,000 matches.
I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, "Are we having salad for dinner?"
"Yes we are, how did you know?" she asked.
I replied, "Because I can't hear the smoke alarm."
“Look, Charlie,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.”
“Yes sir, I understand.”
“Good, Charlie. Now, would you explain that to your father?”
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers …
Summer vacation was over and young Jack returned to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," mother said. "I had Jack with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
My girlfriend isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
Not sure how I did that...
I didn't even know it was her birthday!
"Time separates the best of friends," said one women to another.
"How true," replied the other. "Twenty years ago we were fifteen, now you're thirty-five and I'm twenty-nine!"